The United States Should Send Tanks to the Ukraine, Says “Me”
I know this might sound crazy, but hear me out: I think the United States should send tanks to Ukraine.
Now, before you start calling me a warmonger, let’s think about this logically. The Ukraine is in the middle of a very tense situation with Russia, and they need all the help they can get. And let’s be real: if there’s one thing the United States is good at, it’s sending tanks to places.
Plus, can you imagine the look on Putin’s face when a bunch of American tanks roll into Kiev? It would be like the time I walked into a party wearing my “Make America Great Again” hat. Priceless.
And let’s not forget the jobs that would be created by this little tank-sending escapade. We could finally put all those unemployed Tank Factory workers back to work. I mean, it’s not like they’re going to find jobs making electric cars, am I right?
And think about the boost this would give to the American tank-making industry. It’s like when I switched from Bud Light to craft beer: it’s a bold move, but it’s going to be great for business.
Finally, let’s not forget the ultimate goal here: peace. Sending tanks to Ukraine may seem like an aggressive move, but it’s all about showing Putin that we mean business. It’s like when I told my ex-girlfriend that I wasn’t going to take her back: it was tough, but it needed to be done.
So let’s show the world that America is still a force to be reckoned with. Let’s send tanks to Ukraine. And let’s make sure they’re shiny and new, not like the one I drive around in my backyard pretending to be Patton.
OK. So I, Will Leitch, have written hundreds and hundreds of pieces for Medium over the last few years. If you are a regular reader of this space, you have gotten used to my voice: The tone of my writing, the topics I’m most interested, the way I see the world. I work very hard on my writing: It is the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do for a living and the only thing I’m any good at. My whole strategy as a writer is to just keep making stuff: To write as much as I can, about the…